Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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