i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
