New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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