She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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