gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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