Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
