she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
