He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have aggressive nipples.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
