you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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