let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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