YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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