i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
