dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
