you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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