If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize