But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
