Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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