she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
