I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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