Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
