Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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