i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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