So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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