I think scott just propositioned me for sex
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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