the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
