pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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