New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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