uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
