i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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