Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
