sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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