6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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