O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
