I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
