maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
