that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
