After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
