her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
