I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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