If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
