I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
