and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
