morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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