i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
