Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
