At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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