We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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