i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
