He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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