You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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