Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The air was thick with penises
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
