She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
