Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
