they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
