There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dude. I can hear the air.
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