My first STD was from a foam party
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
