Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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