i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
