to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
