You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
