I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
