She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
