I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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