I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
