She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
