Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize