I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
