I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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