yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
