What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
