Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
